Christmas Eve

It is the night before Christmas and the wind is howling outside, reminding me of any of the old versions of "A Christmas Carol." My favorite is with Alastair Sim, which I think is the best. Nothing on TV and no major breaking stories on the news. I read a story about a woman in China who is trying to save the dogs and cats there. Seems there are no laws to protect animals in that country and cats is considered a delicacy in certain parts of China. I know from a friend that people in Korea eat dogs and try to stir them up and frighten them before they are killed to "tenderize" the meat. How cold are some people! These are companion animals who only want love and kindness from us. I don't understand people who return that kindness and love with evil. People who abuse and fight animals should have their reproductive organs removed so they are not able to procreate. I gave up meat about a month ago because it did bother my conscience. I love steak and hamburger but the thought of what animals go through to produce it made me quit. I wish I had not read that story in the news. I saw another that the Philidelphia Eagles are giving Michael Vick some kind of award for overcoming adversity. Need I say what I would like to give that coward and SOB?? Are they freaking nuts? What adversity did he overcome? He certainly was treated better than the animals he drowned, hung or beat to death. Adversity my ass! May he reap the rewards of the actions he brought on others.

Well, I am off to a very negative start tonight. But I feel not too positive anyway. Family is so difficult sometimes. Parents can be a source of steadfast strength or uncertain disappointment. I wish my father would be a little more aware of the feelings of other people. But then, maybe I am just like him. I feel like I am losing him to the others and he doesn't seem to see it or care. Growing older sucks! But I supposed he would say the same.

I guess I feel pretty much alone. I suppose that is of my own making but when you don't have kids and a family around, it just makes all of that alone feeling more so. I feel like the world is going on around me and it would probably go on without the blink of an eye if I wasn't here. Have I made a contribution to anything? I assume I have but don't always feel or see the results of that contribution to clearly. And of course, it is the holidays so everyone is supposed to be happy. I don't do happy well. I am a somewhat morose personality. I don't see the glass have full but I pretend I do because others expect or desire you to. They want others to be happy or put on a happy face. Underneath the happy face is not so much happy. I think the best I can do is be content. There are times when I am content. That will have to do.